A lot of people negatively talk about low-maintenance friendships. They believe it comes from a place of fear, or that it is not a real friendship. However, I believe that all these beliefs are personal. I have had a very positive experience with low-effort friendships.
Today in this blog we will discuss what low maintenance is with examples of my low-maintenance friends. You must understand that these things come from personal experience and everyone can have different experiences.
What Is A Low-Maintenance Friendship?
A Low-maintenance friendship is the relationship between you and a person who has been your friend for many years. These are friends who have seen you grow over the years, and even though you may not meet regularly, you know that time will not change how you feel about the person. Moreover, no matter how much time you spend apart, nothing will affect your bond.
Speaking from personal experience, I have a friend who has been with me for more than 10 years. Even though she lives an hour away, we meet only twice a year and occasionally text each other with life updates. On the other hand, I have a friend who moved countries and we don’t speak often. Nonetheless, on her visit, I only spend 1 day with her and we catch up with our life updates.
These friendships are low in effort; I do not constantly need to be present because my friends and I have a mutual understanding that we are focusing on our growth, career, and ambitions and all of this does make a person busy. However, in spite of being busy and not putting in the effort, we know at the end of the day when we meet our bond, respect, and trust will always remain the same.
Usually, when we are not in touch with a friend for very long, we lose touch, but this is the unspoken rule of lifelong friendships you know no matter how long you haven’t spoken you’ll have each other in the time of need.
The Difference Between High-Maintenance And Low-Maintenance Friendship
High-Maintenance Friendships
1) Require Frequent Communication
With high-maintenance friendships, you are more likely to communicate with them on a regular basis.
2) Emotional Investment
Friendships that require high maintenance also require investment of time and emotions. Additionally, you have to be available for them at any time.
3) High Expectations
In friendships that require high maintenance, we expect our friends to show up no matter what and may feel disappointed when they don’t.
Low-Maintenance Friendships
1) Infrequent Communication
In a low-effort friendship, you do not usually communicate as regularly as you do with friendships that require high maintenance. You can go without talking to your friends for weeks and your bond will not be affected.
2) Independent
In a friendship that requires low maintenance, we are more independent. This is because we do not rely on our friends for constant support and validation.
3) Low Expectations
Unlike friendships that require high maintenance, low-effort friendships do not expect you to be there. With low-effort friendships, we understand that our friends have their own life which they can be busy in.
Low-Maintenance Friendship Signs
1) Infrequent Communication Yet Strong Bond
The most clear indication of a low-maintenance friendship is that even though you communicate with your friends occasionally, you still have an undeniable bond. Imagine this, you haven’t talked to a friend in months, but you decide to meet and your bond is as though nothing has ever changed, as though you never stopped talking. If someone comes up to your mind when you imagine this scenario, that friend is someone you have a low-maintenance friendship with.
2) Respect For Each Other’s Schedule
As we complete our graduation, life starts to get busier with working a full-time job and career growth. With friends who know you well, and understand that you are busy.
Speaking from personal experience, I have a friend who I meet once or twice a year despite living in the same city. While we both still go out and hang out with other friends, we do not take it personally, we understand each other’s priorities and have a mutual understanding.
3) No Expectations
Friendships that have low maintenance usually don’t have any expectations regarding anything. This may seem like you don’t care or trust your friends but rather it is more about respecting each other’s individuality.
4) Flexibility And Independence
If you have a friend that you can say anything without a filter, cancel, or make plans anytime without any expectations, it is a friendship that you know requires low maintenance. Moreover, if you don’t rely on each other for emotional support, but rather are happily independent and occasionally share life updates with them it’s another very common sign.
5) Unconditional Support
Every good friend is there for you in your time of need. However, low-effort friendships have unconditional support. These friends know your hustle, your journey, and how hard you have worked to achieve your goals. Moreover, they are the ones who are the most happy about your success and they take your wins as though it was their own.
6) Simple Communication
If you can communicate things to your friends using minimal words, it doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t interested in talking to them but rather you can communicate easily and directly. Such friendships have the absence of unwanted drama, they are simple and direct.
These were some low-maintenance friendship signs. If you resonate with most of them, you may have a low-maintenance friend. Are you confused if it’s a good or bad thing? Let’s look into some of its benefits and disadvantages to find out.
Benefits & Disadvantages Of Low-Maintenance Friendship
To be honest, we have covered most of the benefits of having friends that require low effort such as:
- Fewer expectations
- Independence
- Flexibility
- Support
- Personal Growth
Hence, let’s look at some of the disadvantages.
1) Risk Of Drifting Apart
It is a possibility that you and your friend get so immersed in your lives that you may eventually drift apart. This is because as we grow, our environment and responsibilities change us due to which we have a possibility of drifting apart from our friends.
2) Lack Of Support
As mentioned, sometimes when your friends are busy you may try to reach out to them and maybe they are not available at a certain time. In cases where you really need to talk to a friend, this can be a disadvantage.
3) Keeping Up With Each Other’s Update
Keeping up with updates worth weeks, months or even years can get challenging. You may likely miss out on certain events or achievements and find out about them later on. Moreover, catching up and remembering all the small details of your friend’s life can get very challenging.
4) Limited Social Interactions
If most or all of your friendships are low maintenance there is a high chance that you may have less of social interactions with people and while it’s good to enjoy your solitude, it should not lead to isolation as it can impact your mental health.
5) Misunderstandings
While there is a mutual understanding with low-maintenance friends, the chances of developing misunderstandings due to lack of communication are quite high.
Related blogs: Coping with a high-maintenance friend