Maintaining friendships while being in a relationship can be quite challenging. Especially, since both require effort, time, and commitment. However, we must know how to maintain friendships while being in a relationship.
A reason we may find it difficult to maintain these relationships is that we fail to prioritise. We keep asking ourselves, friendship or relationship? The answer to this question varies from person to person. Some prioritise relationships over friendships, and vice-versa.
Some people believe you should prioritise friendships over relationships because if your partner leaves you, you can rely on your friends. However, we fail to take into consideration that sometimes friendships can also become toxic.
Hence, I believe that we should equally maintain both. Your friends and your partner play a significant role in our lives. Instead of fighting for which one is more important, we must learn how to maintain friendships and relationships together.
How To Maintain Friendships While You Are In A Relationship
1. Communicate
First and foremost, you must communicate. When you get into a relationship you enter into the honeymoon phase in which you start to believe your partner is the best and you don’t need anyone else. However, it can turn toxic. If you get too attached you can lose your self-identity.
While it is okay to prioritise giving time to the relationship in the beginning, ensure that you never neglect your friends. Be there, communicate with them, and keep your bond the same.
You can also introduce your partner to your friends. However, you must decide to introduce them to each other wisely, as sometimes it can get messy.
Suggested reads: Do’s & Don’ts for Introducing Your Significant Other to Your Friends
2. Spend Quality Time
Spend quality time with both, your friends and your partner. Ensure you don’t neglect any of them and always be present for them. This is one way to ensure both feel your presence.
3. Set Boundaries
Ensure to set healthy boundaries in your friendship as well as in your relationship. Moreover, it allows you to preserve relationship dynamics. Boundaries, ensure you communicate these boundaries.
Examples of boundaries in such instances are:
- Respecting privacy,
- Maintaining individuality,
- Personal Space, etc
You must maintain certain boundaries, especially with friends of the opposite gender. A simple trick for this is to think how would you feel if your partner behaved in the same way you intended to.
For example, would you be okay if your boyfriend went to a movie along with a friend of the opposite gender? If not, then you must ensure you don’t do the same.
4. Learn To Balance
One of the most important things is to learn to balance these relationships. Sometimes, one may require more attention than others. Learn to be flexible and balance them equally.
For example, if your friend is going through a breakup phase, tell your partner you need to spend time with her to uplift her mood. Similarly, if you and your partner feel like you are drifting apart, you may need to spend more time together, as it will help you strengthen your bond.
5. Provide Reassurance
In a relationship, there may be a time when jealousy may arise, especially, when you have friends of the opposite gender. In such times, you must reassure your partner and address his concerns.
Ensure you don’t get defensive, but rather listen to his reasoning. Explain to him how your friends and you have a purely platonic relationship. Moreover, explain how your friends have had your back and how much you respect and care for your friends.
6. Manage Time
If you are having difficulty allocating time to your friends, partner, and yourself, you can try and make plans that involve all of them. For example – you could all go to the movies together, go bowling together, etc.
7. Encourage Individuality
Remember that, space is important in a relationship. It helps maintain individuality and allows personal growth.
Often, in toxic relationships, one starts to control who their partners are friends with, who they hang out with, where they go, what they wear, etc. You must avoid this at all costs because such relationships become suffocating.
You must understand that you and your partner both have personal lives you must maintain them. Don’t try to invade their personal space.
How To Maintain Friendships If You Are Given An Ultimatum Between Your Friends & Partner
There are chances that you are given an ultimatum to choose between your friends or your partner. Being in this situation is extremely challenging. It is a situation in which you feel stuck, irritated, and angry. This is because you are stuck with making a decision that can hurt you deeply.
When you are given this ultimatum, you need to communicate how it is unfair for you to have to choose between two people you care about. A person who gives you an ultimatum often does not think about how this may affect you.
Being in a situation where you have to choose between two people you deeply care about and love, can cause you a lot of emotional stress, hence you must try to mend things and avoid this. Especially if your goal is to maintain both.
A solution to this is to spend some time alone and let things cool down. However, if you are still stuck, you should make a decision.
Friendship Or Relationship: Which One Should Be Your Priority
Choosing what you prioritise is a decision only you can make. However, there are things you can do to make this decision carefully. Some of them are:
- Take time: Take time and reflect on your relationship with your friends and your partner, Who do you trust more? Who has always been there? Who do you trust the most? The decision you have to make will not be easy. It may take a few days, so you must take your time before deciding.
- Share Your Feelings: If your partner has given you an ultimatum, talk to your friends, and tell them how you feel. Similarly, if your friends have given you an ultimatum talk to your partner.
- Listen: If there is a reason either your friends or partner have given you an ultimatum, listen to them carefully, and try to understand if there has been any misunderstanding. If so, try to clear it, and solve it. Moreover, you must also look for alternative solutions such as making a compromise.
- Think long-term: If you have to make a decision, think about the long-term impact of it. Take everything into consideration before you decide.
Prioritise yourself: Don’t forget to prioritise yourself while trying to figure out how to maintain friendships and relationships. At the end of everything, remember to make a decision that favours you. It does not mean that you are being selfish, rather it shows you are prioritising your well-being.